One of the most common, and certainly understandable, fears that single people have is that they will wind up in a community where most of the people are paired off. A town where singles are at best ignored, at worst discriminated against. Fortunately with some careful planning and research you can find a community where single people are included and feel completely integrated. Here are a few suggestions to help you find a town or city where singles have an easier time.
1. In general, bigger is better for singles. Choosing too small of a community reduces the potential pool for both friends and dates. Smaller communities tend to have a more fixed social order, so they tend be harder to crack into than larger ones. But most cities have lots of single people who are looking to meet other people.
2. Most of your success as a single person depends on you. We just read an interesting book that pokes many holes in single stereotypes. “Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After” by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D will make anyone feel more positive about the benefits of being single. DePaulo debunks a popular myth that single people are lonely in their old age. In fact, she finds that women who have never married tend to be the happiest people in retirement. The reason for this appears to be their successful strategies for making and keeping friends. Women (and men) who seek out activities and volunteer opportunities not only feel fulfilled, they make deep friendships along the way. Those who tend to be the loneliest are those who relied on work or spouses for social engagement, and don’t have deep friendships of their own. Men in particular are not good about forming strong friendships, and that hurts them as single people.
3. Look for towns and cities where there is a lot to do. The more activities and institutions there are in your new town, the greater your opportunities for making friends. Before you move to a new town make sure there are activities that can stretch you in new directions, because taking up some new sports or crafts is a good way to make new friends.
4. College towns and cities can be ideal for singles. Both types of towns have plenty to do, which means that you can be out meeting people through many different activities – from taking adult education classes to volunteering to attending concerts. Small cities like Sarasota or Austin or Boulder have nice downtowns and there is always something to do.
5. Stay away from the suburbs. You might live in the suburbs now. If you have a big web of friends, maybe you should stay. But cracking the suburban social scene as a new, single resident is one of the harder things to pull off.
6. Think about moving with your friends. If you already have a solid group of close friends, think about moving together. That could be as simple as moving to the same community or town, or it could even be shared housing. Some architects report that designing homes meant to be shared is a growing business. In addition to instant friends, being able to share resources can save you money and work.
What do you think? Do you already live in a community that you know is great for singles? Or one you know is not? Share your thoughts in the Comments section below, or in our Forum.
Posted by admin on March 16th, 2011Comments (0)
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